Wednesday, December 26, 2018

"The Day After Christmas" - a funwrap

I thought today I would give you some fun "after Christmas" poems  to make your smile.  Enjoy! (Ken Nesitt) 

The Day After Christmas

Wrapping paper everywhere
with ribbons, tags and bows,
piled in our living room
as deep as winter snows.
Empty boxes, packages,
and bits of twine and tape,
littered all across the floor.
It seems there’s no escape.
Mistletoe, confetti
and some scattered potpourri.
Tinsel, popcorn, ornaments,
and yes, of course, the tree.
Now we’re in a panic,
searching frantically all day.
We think we kept the garbage
and we threw the gifts away!

 --Linda Knaus and Kenn Nesbitt
Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved.
Reading Level: Grade 4

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The presents were opened, the kids were all smiles as they played with their toys of all shapes and all styles. And mother and father, exhausted they lay, wondering how they would make it through this very long day. Because not many winks had they had in their beds, due to toys they assembled and people they’d fed. So what will you do on this post-Christmas day? Relax, take it easy.... do nothing, I say!

The Day After Christmas
by Anonymous

It's one day after Christmas
I'm crabby and I'm broke.
I'm so full of ham and fruitcake
I think I'm gonna croak.

It's nice to see the relatives
I wonder when they'll leave.
They've been camping in my bathroom
since early Christmas Eve.

They're eating everything in sight
and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the basement
with my spotted beagle, Fred.

The relatives have all gone out
and left their screaming brats.
The toilet bowl is all plugged up
and I can't find the cat.

It's Christmastime at my house,
the relatives are here.
They eat me out of house and home.
and drink up all my beer.

I love the decorations,
and the sleigh bells in the snow
But I wish those pesky relatives
would take their kids and go.

Those cookie crunchers fed the dog
a twenty pound rib of roast.
His feet are sticking in the air
like skinny old fence posts.

Now they're in a free-for-all,
the girls against the boys.
They're fighting over boxes
'cause they're bored with all their toys

My mother-in-law is snoring
in my favorite TV chair.
Those kids are stringing lights on her
and tinseling her hair

I oughta wake her up
before the fireworks begin.
But I wanna see those blue sparks fly
when they plug her in.

The Day After Christmas - Poem by Paul (ChryWizard) Posney

Twas the day after Christmas
And boy am I glad
Didn’t get what I wanted
So I’m really mad.
After all of the gifts 
And the presents I bought
Socks, ties and boxers
Is all that I got.
The food was real good 
So I ate more then my fill
Bed time I was miserable
Indigestion left me ill.
The cleanup sure sucked
The dishes were an endless pile
Not one person helped
So I did dishes for awhile.
Ashtrays all full of the
Butts that were smoked
And to make matters worse
I put up with Bernie’s dumb jokes.
Then to top it all off
I didn’t get to sleep in
Children playing with loud toys
Who’d have thought this early….
They’d begin.
After the weekend
I’ll go to work where it’s best
To relax and enjoy
A much needed rest.

© Paul (ChryWizard) Posney 2011


‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
All the fam’ly was sleeping, yes, even my spouse.
The stockings were tossed by the chimney with flair
Some turned inside out, to make sure nothing’s there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Nintendo DSes tucked under their heads;
And I in my bathrobe, MacBook on my lap,
Was happy to know there were no gifts to wrap.

When out from the kitchen there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
I waded my way ‘cross a floor filled with trash
To a kitchen heaped high from our Christmas Eve bash.

The sun through the window, it gave quite a glow:
(Los Angeles Christmas: We never have snow),
It shone on the remains of the Christmas day cheer,
The leftover cheese ball, the dregs of the beer.
The un-put-away brownies as hard as a fossil,
And o’er on the stove, it shone down on the wassail.

I blinked as the sun blasted straight to my eye
And just in time glimpsed a brown streak passing by.
Four-footed and furry and dragging a ham,
Dodging around me and trying to scram.
And as he ran off with a peppermint cluster
I knew in a moment, it was my dog Buster.

More rapid than eagles he streaked ‘cross the floor
Buster grabbed what he wanted, and came back for more:
More cheesecake, more truffles, more bagels and lox,
More chocolate chip cookies, more scotch on the rocks.
He smashed and he scrambled, bumped into the wall,
Then dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all.

“I should have cleaned up when the guests said good-bye,”
I moaned to myself with a pretty big sigh.
After two days of feasting, the kitchen looked grubby
I scrounged in the sink, tried to dig up the scrubby–

I searched quite in vain for a halfway clean towel
When out from the living room came quite a howl.
I set down the saucepan all caked thick with goo,
The glaze for the ham which had now turned to glue.

I skipped to the living room, limber of foot
And inched past the fireplace, dripping with soot.
Unraveling ribbons clung fast to my shin
As I looked round the post-Christmas scene with chagrin.

A mountain of presents all covered the floor
They looked so appealing when bought at the store.
Now gift wrap was ripped and the tissue was crumpled,
The new shoes abandoned, the new tank tops rumpled.

I picked my way round all the presents caloric,
The baskets of chocolate to make me euphoric,
Strange foods so exotic that no one would try it
(And don’t my friends know, New Year’s Day starts the diet?)

And just then I heard from the top of the spruce
The pitiful cry of a dog on the loose
I lifted my eyes from amidst the debris —
Old Buster had climbed to the top of the tree.

The angel crashed down as the Christmas tree swayed,
The ornaments flew in a sparkling cascade–
The puppy leapt on me, I felt his claws rip,
And then right behind, the tree started to tip–

The lights all exploded as down the tree crashed–
The pine needles shredded, the presents were smashed–
And I said as I landed on top of the pup,
“Happy Christmas to all– Someone else can clean up!”
(Janet Batchler, Quoth the Maven, December 26, 2009)

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends.  It surely is a season for happiness, bonding and reflection.  My blog numbers have exploded which I am so grateful for.  Thank you to every person who stops by and reads my reviews.  My whole mission is to get kids to love books and encourage them to become prolific lifelong readers.  Now on to celebrate New Year's.........

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